I often read here and deeply appreciate the sharing-- the experiences, the info and the support-- so freely given by members here.

I am just now realizing the degree to which I have been living with dissociative disorders. I am just finding out I was diagnosed over 30 years ago and underwent some treatment then. I had moved to a different location and I had somehow "lost" that history/experience/knowledge.

I am also just finding out some of how dissociative disorders have affected my life over the past 30 years, even so in the past 1-5 years. I am baffled by this. It's been very surprising, at times disheartening, in that the realizations have caused me to have some deep doubts about myself and about trusting my sense of "Presence."

I've also been feeling grief, as I feel I have lost a lot of time.

I may be able to share more at some point. While I have been working intensely with my pdoc/therapist, I have been very quiet and introspective, as I have been so very surprised as I've learned more about the depth of dissociation in my own life.

At times, placing more focus on dissociation has caused me more stress and more confusion, including more dissociation. I have to pace myself.

In the meantime, I'd like to let you know I do read here and am deeply appreciative to each participant here.

With Love and Gratitude,
Wild Coyote