Yes, I was driving home today and my cell phone rang. It was my T. He actually called me and told me that he was sorry that I was in such pain from the past session. He said that he wanted to make sure that he checked in on me before the weekend. I had sent him a scathing letter because I was so hurt, so angry. He said that he received the email and I told him that I was angry. He said, yes, but that will not affect our relationship. He said that he was not going to refer me to another T (a fear I had expressed in my email to him) because he wanted us to work through this. I told him that I was just so devastated still and he said that there were things from my past causing this (I guess I'm in search of a Father who cares).

What can I say? He's so wonderful. He totally reinforced my feelings of attachment to him, not erotic transference, but a need/desire to stay connected with him forever. I'm going to ask him if he'll adopt me.

I'm dreading working through this as I know that I've only touched the tip of the iceburg when it comes to feelings of total devastation. I guess all I can say is stay tuned for the next episode. Hopefully, the ending will be a good one. . . Maybe I'll wake up and be totally normal and only have dreamed all of this.