****************** triggerring***********************************

Do not read.. if you are triggered...










To be called a liar... by your Mom... to live the nightmare.. of the "pretend" world... the "world" that your Mom lives in... the one where she is the "perfect" mother.. and you are the child that is too senistive.. too embrassing for her...

My world... one of confusion... my hand closed in the car door.. my mom apoligizing to our hostess.. because I am silently crying.. because my little hand is brusied.. and cut.. and mashed..
The hostess.. taking me upstairs.. putting my little hand under the cold water.. my body shaking with pain.. silently crying.. knowing that my Mom.. is so very mad at me.. for making a "scene".

My Mom.. telling me.. "you are wrong, that is your Dad loving you... there isn't anything wrong... you are a liar"...
My world... one that hurts.. from the way my Dad shows his love.. it hurts.. love hurts..
He loves me... but I am not to tell anyone.. anyone .. it is a secret..

My world.. trying to keep all these secrets.. and I am not good at that... my sister is good at it.. I am not... things always slip out.. I worry.. worry.. worry.. worry.. how to keep the secrets...

An embrassment...that is me....