Saturday will be our 18th Anniversary. Been alot of ups and downs thru these years. And lately more downs that ups. Both are at fault for that. But we are still here and still together . And I am glad of it. I havent been able to see what I was doing wrong till tonight. I was always trying to make it on my own... as a person. I never treated our relationship as a partnership. I needed it.. but I didnt give it like I should. Partially I think because of my mental instability and physical problems. The depression definitely is hard .. but the physical pain.. well it makes it nearly impossible to do the work I need to do around here. I feel horrible about it. I dont know how to make that part better. To make it so I can make him happier with being married to me. I hope to have a good talk with him either tonight or tomorrow about this. Please keep us in your thoughts if you will. I do love him. I do want this to work out.

This was our song..
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