This has been an issue for me in the whole of my adult life.

"I don't deserve the good things I have" "I'm not worthy"

Last month I worked a fair bit extra time and so this month's pay was rather high. You think I'd be pleased right? So why was my first thought guilt? That I had not truly earned it, that other people work harder than me. If I step back I know it's crazy, I worked early starts and more hours, of course I earned that pay.

I'm the same with friendships, I have wonderful, funny, kind friends but I often wonder why they want to hang out with me. The only person I truly feel secure with is my husband, I know he loves me and I don't get the undeserving feeling with him.

I don't disclose these feelings much irl, just venting it out there in the internet. I don't know if I'll ever overcome it. As time ticks on I think this might just be me and nothing I can do to change that.