I'm not sure thinking of myself is going to be attainable. I can't shake the disgusted feeling I get when I do attempt something for myself. I've had 27 counselors in 25 years. I can't go to one now because I can't afford it. The Veterans Administration hospital has very poor counseling services. I've had one of them yell at me because I disagreed with something she said. Not a good way to keep me calm. I have PTSD also, so when someone shows anger towards me, I get pi**ed off instantly. The really hard part is not having anyone tangable to talk with or trust. Most of the time, I try to keep to myself. Bad part: people seem to be getting more rude, selfish, and cruel each day.