Thanks everyone for the advice. I know what all you say is true. But it's difficult to cope with this loss.
After rereading my initial post, I realized I made a mistake and possibly left a few things out.
I met him June of 2015, not 2016. So we've been communicating for over a year. Maybe I said it somewhere. But I just wanted to make that clear. This is the reason I'm having a difficult time.
I also didn't emphasize that he knew I was going out with other guys. Therefore, he had every right to date. I had moved on from any hope of a relationship developing until he brought all those feelings to the surface again when he came on strong while vacationing overseas. We discussed this. He apologized for his immaturity. I got over it. Then he confessed about being dishonest about going on dates from a dating site. I was only irritated by this bc he didn't tell me when I'd ask, just as he would ask me, if he met anyone special. It was stupid. I got over that as well. But after calling him out on not talking as much and a noticable change in his behavior toward me was met with the response, "that's because I'm also talking to someone else", I was devastated. Why should this change how he's been? So now she's taken my place? So.... he didnt see me as simply a friend or else he would've never said such a stupid thing.
I apologize if I'm repeating myself. I appreciate all the support. I miss the closeness we built over the past year. I depended on him so much as a dear person in my life. We spoke about friendship and how important it was. How much we both meant to one another. He knew about the betrayals and broken friendships both male and female I went through. After he said he lied about dating, I asked him to promise me one thing, that he always be honest with me no matter how much it hurt. He said "well I already failed at that". I don't understand this.
I hate to say it bc it's immature and unhealthy. Yet, I'm human. Lol. But I am implementing the NC rule to give myself time to heal. But I also want him to miss me and realize he's thrown a good thing away - that he has screwed up. I've always been too scared to attempt NC. So I'm not sure how it works - which sounds ridiculously obvious.
Jasmina