Today I had no character activity. In housekeeping I had 15 checkouts and 5 stayovers, and I did my very best to hustle, work hard, and stay focused.

Before work I practiced mindfulness and throughout the day I did deep breathing. When a negative thought came to mind regarding my characters, I directed my thoughts to the pleasant dream I had last night where Tommy was my boyfriend. In my dream, I saw him from behind and tackled him and rustled his crazy hair, then he scooped me up and cuddled me and we talked. It was such a nice dream and it filled me with happy thoughts as I cleaned rooms, so when I had doubts I thought back to the dream and reminded myself to stay in the moment.

I wrote the lack of character activity in my character journal, and I think it is important to mention this in my next session with my T.

I'm debating whether I want to keep my characters and control them, or to let them go. When they are happy, they fill me with joy and I feel less lonely. When they are not, it can make me feel tortured and wishing I had a real-life friend.