My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. We were together 5 years. I feel so used and taken advantage of and I was made to feel like I was the reason the relationship ended. He "didn't feel like I loved him anymore." "My face didn't light up when I saw him like it did in the beginning." "We don't have a bond/emotional connection like we did in the beginning."

We broke up for the same reason 2 years ago. We got back together after a month and everything was great and just like it was in the beginning. But with some time, job and financial issues on his part, and lack of quality time together, things weren't as exciting as in the beginning. We had gotten comfortable with each other etc. We realized there were some issues in our relationship and I thought we were both willing to put in the effort and work on things. I was there for him through all his struggles...depression, chronic health issues, financial, you name it. And this is what I get in return?

I was his longest relationship. Before me he was engaged. They were both in the navy. He was on a submarine doing a mission when she emailed him and broke off the engagement. He was devastated.

A couple weeks before he left he was acting distant and I knew what was coming based on the breakup 2 years before. He wouldn't talk to me. He would occupy his time with his hobbies to avoid me. All the while still telling me he loved me. He even told me he wasn't planning on leaving. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and just about snapped. He said he thought it would be best if he got his stuff and left. He came by the house a couple days later while I was at work and got his things and was gone.

I'm shattered. I'm a mess. I feel empty, alone, lost, unwanted. I feel like I'll never find anyone else. I'm 36 and I had wanted to be married and have a family. I don't think that's in the cards for me. Why do I have this guy on a pedestal?? He's selfish, closed off, has no money, has trouble keeping a job, has shunned his family, impulsive, but he's so good looking. That gets me every time. I know I can't have a relationship just because someone is good looking. Despite all his flaws I do love him. But what's my hangup on the looks??

I think I have attachment issues. My relationship before this one was 12 years. I fell out of love with him and continued to stay with him for years for fear of being alone. I'd never been alone. I went from living at home, to college where I met him and we started dating about 6 months after i started college. I stayed at his apartment all the time and a couple years later we moved in together. I knew I wasn't happy in that relationship. I just didn't want to hurt him and I was scared and didn't know how to express to him what I was feeling because even though I wasn't in love with him, the thought of being alone was way more terrifying to me than staying with a man I didn't love. We got along just fine but there was nothing more than friendship there...at least for me.

So here I am in this most current mess. I can't sleep, I'm losing weight, I feel like I'm going insane thinking about him, the what if's, the why's, the what could I/should I have done differently. Everything reminds me of him