Thanks so much for sharing.

Your account touches my heart.

In addition, I can identify somewhat.
I recall also doing things like some clearly depressed/distraught figures in graphic arts. I had also sculpted a very unique, very distraught woman and had taken first prize at the art show. (I was too depressed to enter it into the show, my art teacher told me she needed me to leave it in her studio to use as a teaching model for a few weeks, so I had left it with her. She'd entered it into the show.)

I also wrote some papers for literature classes which could have been very telling. The papers received excellent grades and had evoked personal congrats from the various teachers. They'd seen the papers as "very insightful." In reality, I could relate to the despair about which I was writing.

My school was large -- many students. Teachers rarely talked with one another. If they had grouped my artwork and my papers, they would have likely had some insight into me.

I think my good grades and athleticism added some confusion, as these made it appear as though I was excelling, when truly, I was suicidal most of the time throughout my childhood and teen years.

Students struggling with depression don't always appear depressed outwardly, although they probably give a few cues in their school work/artwork, etc.

My parents were not able to be helpful. They were each too overwhelmed with their own challenges, and with one another, to extend themselves to their children. I was a "parent" to my parents and siblings.


WC