((((tomi)))) so sorry i didn't read this thread until now. don't really frequent this forum much. i know how you feel. years ago, when i was 2 1/2 to 3 years old, my dad raped me. for years i had a funny relationship with my dad, not like a normal father-daughter relationship. when i went through therapy i finally broke the silence. i did this not in revenge or vendetta - but, to help myself heal. as years went by, my dad's family members, my aunts, mostly, dropped dead one by one from various things. then, after years of no contact, one aunt found me and got a hold of me and told me that my dad died in 2001 from a strange brain disease. i was floored by the news. i wouldn't ever put this one on my worst enemy. i never wished anything on the family. but, it seemed as if i had laid a curse on them by breaking the silence. really, i sure had a bunch of emotions because my dad was a human being.