Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
Yes. I can relate completely to what your note to your t says. Almost every aspect of it. It gives me hope that I can help my protector part understand that it's ok to fully trust my counselor enough to step back when I'm there.
I'm very interested in the "resetting emotions" that you referenced. Could you describe it? Maybe it would be something that could help me reassure my protector.
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Hi Trailrunner,
It helps me to know that somebody else can relate to what I'm talking about. I'm so glad you chose to reply and let me know you understand what it is like to experience this issue.
It's amazing to me how strong the Protector is. It feels like the strongest part of me by far. I know that it's job is to keep any vulnerable part of me away from people. It believes that nobody will understand the child parts of me. They will end up hurting them.
The Protector is right, actually, in a lot of ways. People don't understand dissociative people who have younger parts of themselves inside that still think, feel, and react like little kids. So for the Protector to allow those little ones to interact or form bonds with other people feels like a dangerous, unwise course.
Small ones first experienced feeling rejected by my parents a long time ago, and then again in a later relationship with an older woman who acted in a nurturing, motherly way toward them. So the Protector is especially on guard against letting those little ones interact with t in therapy. The Protector knows that unchecked, they will bond deeply with t and end up devastated when therapy ends and t leaves their lives. Already, they have suffered hurt and disappointment over limits in the therapy relationship, such as limits regarding between session contact, receiving physical comfort from t, expressions of affection, etc.
It's easy enough for the adult side of me to understand that the therapy relationship is limited and temporary, as well as to understand the need for boundaries in the relationship. But that doesn't help those other parts who seem unable to reason on things the way I can when I am not dissociated. Because they are unable to understand things in a mature way, and have been badly hurt already in relationship, the Protector feels obligated to monitor their every action to keep them safe.
You asked more about resetting emotions. My t and I have just started doing it, so I don't have much experience to tell yet. I do have a good explanation I found on a Web site and saved to my computer. Let me see if I can find it and I'll come back to this thread.
Peaches