I had strong protectors too. some I had limited co consciousness with and others I had no coconsciousness with. some were there for the explicit purpose of keeping others at a distance, dont tell the secrets, but they were unable to prevent others from taking control. the way my system was set up was that any time I got triggered I dissociated. the resulting alter that took control was the one that dealt with that situation. (switching type system)

one thing we discovered with my having this kind of internal system was it didnt really matter whether the "littles" came out or not. their needs and wants got addressed anyway.

in the words of my locations terms.... all DID systems have a dissociative filter. (think of it like a thin wall or curtain. this wall or curtain is like a reverse sun visor... lets things in (otherwise no alters would be taking control during trauma and triggering situations) but this dissociative filter doesnt let things out until its the right time for it. until the one they reside with in is able to handle knowing about whats behind the curtain.)

how this dissociative filter worked with my system was if I felt someone in my system needed or wanted something I would either ask for that or do it for myself. this in turn would filter down to the one that needed/ wanted that....

example if I or my protectors felt rainy needed to be held during therapy we would ask my therapist if she could hold us for a bit. this sense of security and being held would filter through the dissociative filter to rainy and rainy would feel better. if Rainy could not tell my therapist something on her own I or one of the alters that had co consciousness with her would tell the therapist.

my point your post of alters remaining at a distance during therapy is something I went though but my treatment providers and I did not have this whole write a letter to T situation. we just didnt worry about whether the alters came out to talk with her or not.

In fact my location forbids therapists from encouraging people with DID to dissociate into being their alters for the purpose of alters talking with the therapists/ psychiatrists. therapy for DID here in NY is more on stabilizing, grounding, and if a switch just happens to happen during therapy fine, if it doesnt thats fine too.