Hello fredhal: Well... I don't know about bars & strip clubs. But getting out & doing things is certainly a good thing to do. Sitting at home ruminating about the past will not be helpful. Writing about your feelings, perhaps in a journal, or such as here on PC, may also help. You could also write your ex a long farewell letter which you then tear up as a sign to yourself that you are releasing yourself of your connection to her.

To some extent, this is probably just a matter of allowing time to pass &, in the meantime, getting out there & starting to meet new people (including girls.) From my perspective, what's important here is get out there & make things happen. The thing you don't want to do is to get into the mindset that first you have to, in some way, regain your confidence & then you'll get back out there. That's unlikely to happen, in my opinion. Regaining your confidence will only occur as a result of getting out there.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!