I have been ostracized by a group on a few occasions. It was very painful. In my case it was violent and did me great harm emotionally and physically. If you look up the unfortunate results of being ostracized, you will find it does a great deal of emotional harm. Look up all that it causes and you will probably not be shocked to learn you are feeling many of the things listed as possible outcomes of the action. I hope you find some ways to heal. Some new friends who are more caring and loyal. Some new confidence in being left. When someone abandons us, we have the option to learn and grow more confident in who we are when other people are removed from the equation. We can learn to self smooth and become more independently reliant. I'm wishing nothing but good things for your future. (((Hugs)))