I have been having all these terrible thoughts now not just about hurting myself but hurting others. I thought about pushing my best friend into the street when a car comes and i thought about calling 911 and holding a knife when they got there.the thing is this isnt me and i honestly dont want my friend to come here anymore for thanksgiving or Christmas if thats how bad my anger is because she abandoned me for her new boyfriend. I just don't want to be around anyone.