I realize that I fling my feelings everywhere, and that every little thing said or done feels directed towards me. That feeling drives me further into the ground. I cry and I try to talk about my feelings, but it's usually not received well. It could be the profound confusion I feel when depressed. I dissociate a lot and think in consulates loops. I just wish I could protect him from it. I also wish he would respond in a way that doesn't feel like emotional abandonment,imagined or otherwise