Gone crazy. Mood tanked but still very manic in some ways. SI strong. Agitated, irritable and thoughts race. Making plans but tomorrow is my sister s bday. Hopefully this mood state eases overnight like it did last time. Was given 10mg Olanzapine to no avail so just given 20mg more and hope to sleep soon tho still wired. Very scared. This darkness is too much for me. I hope the light returns tomorrow.