He was never 'violent ' in his previous assaults. He never hit his ex partner or restrained her, except for once. He did ignore her requests for him to stop.
I am unsure, my problem is I have a masochistic streak, I enjoy being hurt. And forced into doing things I don't want to. And this is what worries me. So far I have kept a handle on this. We have a very clear written contract for inside the bedroom and have applied all the precautions we can.
I do believe a huge part of his behaviour was down to resentment, I am also very aware of his triggers and any warning behaviour he might be exhibiting. I would never push his boundries while he was acting in a high risk way. But ultimately I don't know.