I watched this movie "A Long Way Down", and in this movie there's this character who has a similar struggle. He doesn't know why he feels this way, he just does and it makes his situation that much more dire. I recommend it to anyone who isn't easily triggered, though I wouldn't say it's that full of triggers but the subject matter is about suicide; it's on Netflix, if you have it.
Remember, you can PM me any time. If anything just to vent, I don't mind reading and keeping quite. I'm here whenever you need me.

The question implies judgement as if there should be an easy answer but there is no easy answer that's why this is such a difficult illness to deal with. The fact that you don't have an answer shouldn't make you feel worse the person who poses such a judgemental question is the one who should feel bad.

Wish we lived in a world where people would at least try to understand that if they don't know something it means the answer may be complex. Instead many assume that if they don't know something the answer must be simple.