Thank you. There's just so much going round in my head about letting her know. I don't want it to affect how we are I don't want her to think I'm gross or it having a bad thing on our relationship. I don't want her to think that I'm just telling her this cos she thinks I'm doing better and after attention. I'm scared of crying in front of her as if she just sits there and stares then it's gonna be like when I was a kid and was ignored or shouted at for being upset. I've not told anyone in real life about most of this but I really want her to know I'm scared of how she will react. I just keep feeling really bad, I can't sleep and just want to keep crying but gotta be happy for work and my kids. I can't tell her this though as the letter already feels to much and I'm scared of what she's gonna say and how she responds