Thank you I think I'm feeling like its to much for me to tell her in one go rather than to much for her. She has said I can tell her anything but anything feels just to much for me. I don't know I'm just rubbish at talking about the hard stuff I'm scared. She's not a blank slate I know quite a bit about her. I just don't know how she reacts to someone crying and I really like her. When I think about crying in there I can imagine her sitting next to me comforting me no it feels so nice but then I think that the chances are she will just sit there and she will just be like the rest of them from the past and it really hurts