I also had self esteem issues stemming from how kids treated me at school. Even many years later, if someone got annoyed or angry at me I would feel instantly at fault even if I didn't even know why they were annoyed; I would just revert to this shame spiral that used to happen to me as a kid. I believe these were emotional flashbacks, though I couldn't see that until after they stopped happening.

I have a lot less anxiety in my relationships now, but it was a long process. I had to heal from years of social rejection. But yes, it's possible. I accept myself and even like myself in a way I did not, before therapy. It did require getting into some deeply buried shame, so it wasn't an easy process, but very much worth it.