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I know he feels he is fighting against himself, I don't want to be the reason for that.
He had long ago decided he wouldn't get involved again, as had I.
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It would certainly seem you are both playing with fire and are risking falling down the rabbit hole.
At this point, I suppose it depends on how strongly the two of you can adhere to your clear bedroom contract while continuing to resist your sexual deviances/paraphilias. Sexual proclivities can be awfully strong. It doesn't sound easy.
I'm sorry you're faced with having to make this hard decision.