These SI thoughts are getting really bad. Even when I feel okay, I'm still working on the details of my plan. It's like last year all over again. I've even settled on the date. That date is my deadline to have all my plans settled, letters written and promises fulfilled. It's also the deadline for me to stop thinking like this. If I can't get this out of my head by then, I'm going to have to do it.
I know I've said I never will, and there's a part of me still believing that, but this deadline will be the deciding factor. "I'm forced to deal with what I feel. There is no distraction to mask what is real." -Twenty One Pilots. Nothing's working to stop these thoughts and I've almost given into them several times over the past twenty-four hours. Giving myself a deadline, well...oddly enough it's keeping me alive. At least, until then.