You have been posting about some terrible stuff. Your fiance, mom, brother, and sister need you more than you realize. Talk to them. I know it is hard. Don't be ashamed because of what he did to you. That is not your fault. Don't shield them from the truth. It's OK to feel bad but you feel that way through no fault of your own. Please hang on. It would be fitting for you to survive longer than him! Do you agree?