[QUOTE=Heather Unbalanced;5367573]
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...But mostly,
I can understand why a person would get fed up with someone who is constantly jealous and wont allow him to see his friends.
However, all of my outbursts have been for a good reason.
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continued outbursts related to jealousy without real evidence. I will be honest, I dealt with a spouse that was jealous for all the years I was with her, and that with me never stepping out or even remotely having an emotional relationship with anyone. there has to come a point where he has proven himself and most likely he never felt he could move ahead. I know I didn't. A mistaken glance in the direction of an opposite sex person in a crowd and I had the outbursts from her. I had kept no female friends for the entire relationship and it never got better. She also always had good reason.
I understand your fears, but what I am saying is have you asked yourself and tried to address your own apparent insecurities?
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He continuously holds it against me for getting angry when he went out with his friends these two times (when he was being distant and I had finally heard from him at 1 AM when he got home from the bar, and when he ditched me on "our day" to be with people hes never hung out with before). I need to tell him that that is not okay.
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To be accepting of another person means you have to accept that they are not your subordinate to be commanded. Sounds like he was wanting to stretch his wings, tbh.
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Im more and more concerned about this "good friend" of his and I made up a list of "I dont feel okay when. . ." to bring to his attention.
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Can I ask an honest question? Wasn't it you that almost pursued a relationship with a "crush" you had but you stopped? Have you asked yourself that because of your own almost faltering, that you expect he may be capable of the same and are jealous because of this expectation?
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The biggest reason im not as eager to be back with him is because of what he in vermont. I saw on his reddit page that 3 months ago he is looking forward to "proposing to my gf, getting married, and traveling the world." In vermont in august (i think?) he said if someone leaves a relationship when it gets tough, they will be in a new one every year. He is going against himself and the fact that very recently he wanted to marry me and a few short months later, he broke up with me. What gives?
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That is an understandable reason for your concern. Have you looked at what changed in you, in him.. in the relationship following his desire to get married and considered what things went downhill and why? I would suggest considering that and although focusing on what he did and is doing is alright to do, perhaps focusing on what you can change about yourself would be more productive. Rarely does any relationship fall apart based solely on one person's wrong doing except in abuse cases.
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I think its possible he is afraid that when he marries me he will lose all of his freedom.
There is only so much I can tell you guys that really detail how horrible I am to him when my jealousy strikes. It isnt just "Im jealous" its "f you" and terrible rage and violent words.
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I don't know that it's his freedom as much as your trust he desires/desired. When someone is jealous toward a partner that is faithful it becomes a very futile effort to always be on the up and up and some guys (women if the case is turned around because men are not the only ones shown jealousy) will just throw their arms up in the air at some point.
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While I can easily see that the way I express my concerns to him have driven him to this point, the fact that I have those concerns in the first place are valid.
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