Thankyou again for responding.

I get stuck with repeat offender, because yes he raped his ex a few times over 3 years, however he never assaulted any other girlfriend. Admittedly he was young and there weren't many before and none after, then he was convicted.
Remorse absolutely, I asked him what made him stop. (Because they were together for a while after the last time, then the separated, it was a year before she pressed charges.) and he said he looked at her. He had never looked her in the eyes before and when he did it instantly horrified him, and he couldn't continue.
He was visibly shaken when he relived this story. he despises himself for what he did to someone he thought he loved, and is very afraid of repeating his mistakes. It's not his words that tell me this but his actions and watching him when he talks. After he came out of prison, he moved into an apartment adopted two turtles and more or les locked himself away. Resigned to that being his existence from that point onward.

I have seen many people lie, and pretend to be sorry and remorseful, I have come across some who were exceptionally gifted at convincing you they were totally reformed. This man breaks when he relives that experience and when he realises he lost his son. He has
Never once directed blame at anyone but himself. And I have been tricky with him, tried to lead the conversation so that he might confess he secretly believes her responsible in someway or tht he could justify himself somehow.
He never has.

All points of view have been gratefully received it is always good to hear things from another's point of view. These are the assumptions reactions we come up against very often, and thankfully we are both level headed, and respectful of other people's views.
Even withstanding the inevitable monitoring from the Social services.