Hi Miguel's mom, Yes, this is me lately: "I don't think I'm bipolar but I am a *****. Every sound, everyone is bothering me. All I want to do is get away but then I'll be bored and I'm destructive when I'm bored. How do I deal with this? I really don't want to be a ***** but it just naturally occurs." BUT in my case,I have finally realized that I AM bipolar. And I've never seriously tried to off myself, although I have thought about it a lot (not lately, though). Here's how I figured out, once and for all, that I am bipolar and not just a ****** At 1:00 a.m. a couple of nights ago, I remembered that at age 16, we students in high school English class were required to memorize a soliloquy from a Shakespeare play, then recite it privately to the teacher at her desk. (This is how English was taught in the 1950s and it was great! I loved my teacher, and I still love English.) Anyway, I chose a very, very depressing soliloquy from Macbeth. I googled it that 1:00 a.m., and saw my extreme depressive mood -- when I was only 16!!! That convinced me. I'm working on getting med adjustments. I've been stable for periods of years, so I hope we hit on something this time that works for a long time.