After going back and seeing you're threads unfold... following your situation across the board there are so many problems.

Here's what I see ...

You have a huge problem with transportation. Your mom might have her own health problems but I'm sorry that is not a reason to not help you. As for you having to give them gas money ? Sorry I am just not getting this.

You're mother and step father are not offering to get you help " when" you need it during a episode like you have been in far to long now.

Maybe you present in person as doing better than you are. That's not real uncommon. I can be straight up suicidal and no one can tell until I tell them....but if you can't verbally tell a provider what's going on then write it down before and say " I'm having trouble being verbal about how I feel" " hand them the note.... "help me" Yes Pdocs and T's are use to this.

Your current Pdoc doesn't seem at all like a good fit and why expect you're mom to drive even further??

Personally I think a new set of eyes to look at your meds would be a huge help in you're case.

You can't get any of meds straight and getting refills in a timely manner.

Your current pharmacy isn't able to fill your meds on time ??? I'm sorry it just makes no sense that they are " out of your meds " The meds your on are not odd ducks, standard meds that pharmacies do in fact keep in stock . yes sometimes you need to use X pharmacy .. But.... If they honestly have this many problems you need to find a new one ! And yes you can get your insurance to pay anyway.

I'm not being mean or whatnot. You're situation just seems like such a mess , I live in a very rural area , I go to the county mental practice. I can't understand how you don't have any options...

I really hope you can get things lined up , get to an from your much needed appointments and your able to be honest with whatever Pdoc and T you have. It's hard to watch you struggle so hard for so long.

Stay safe ❤️