Shrinklady was also a great reference for me. She has an entire module on transference. As long as your therapist is open and willing to work with it, try to stay with them and as others said: talk, talk, talk. It is an extremely painful process but you will learn so much.

If it becomes too much to bare, keep in mind that you may have it with other therapists but to a greater or lesser degree than yours. My ex-T.'s inconsistency and reactions to me made my transference negative and worse. I have the same MET with my new/current T. but she is so different that it's not overwhelming. She is meeting me where I am and we are getting through it.

Post as much as you need to - this forum was a great help when I was in the thick of it.