Not real sure what I am feeling ... just seem very tired .... sleeping longer but not really any better .... could be my attempt anniversery is coming up ... could just be the time change ... so dark so early ... I know my "exciteability" level is causing me issues .... certain shows and thoughts I just have to avoid at all costs ... maybe this rash and my liver don't like me anymore

... it just feels wrong .... I am not scared yet ... but it maybe coming ... My Korean feelings are fading ...and I really really need that ... just nothing seems worth it anymore .... I can't find that "want to do it" anymore ... not sleepy during day more like being hypmatisted ... just suddenly seem to be somewhere .....

have not started down that road yet ... and do not want too ... rereading my campbell books for the 25th time .... only thing that calms me ... gives me a feeling ...

those that know me understand my need to see this in print ... to see it outside myself ...
not asking for advise just need all the good "vibes" I can get .... Thanks guys ... I really believe you can help me if you will ...