I was fine for the lost part of my day off. I cleaned a bit watched tv read and now in the parking lot of the gym after working out for past hr and half. I had a couple triggers at the gym. First I saw myself in the mirror and it almost crippled me how much I have gained and how my muscles seemed to be hiding. I almost cried. Went back on the elliptical and was watching some rerun and it showed a couple kissing and I started to feel depressed and closed my eyes while I was on it because I'm sure I would be crying. Hell im crying a bit in the car. Then I bought of New Years and my birthday which is New Year's Day and started to feel horrible. 3 years ago I was in so much emotional pain I tried to od. It made me think of how this year is going to be. No girlfriend still fat out of shape broke and feeling a bit defeated. This feeling I'm having now is a fraction of the feeling I had nye 13 into 14. How do you fight these triggers.