I don't really know how to answer this question. People say be yourself, but I think I hate myself. I hate this depression that sometimes lifts then comes back. I hate the shape I'm in, I used to be in excellent shape. I hate whining and complaining. I hate how lonely I am, a girl can be in front of me and I'll break into tears because I have no self confidence and wouldn't stand a chance. I hate all this. Why can't I be good, handsome fit and confident. This was the old me and I want that back. Way did a few events turn me into a very depressed individual. Why can't I be happy. Why can't I find someone. This all fn hurts. It hurts so much. Do I even have a purpose? My dreams have been crushed. I can't remake myself. I've had episodes of hope but obviously not now. Life has knocked me down so many times at this point I feel like I'm just a piece of s$)t.