Some parts may be in so much pain and they don't know how to cope. Can you connect with them and try to support them? Considering how strong some of these urges are I would consider contacting your t and letting them know how you are feeling. I think it is great you called a friend and got to a safe place. Please don't feel alone as I too have had these urges and don't think it is uncommon. Please do what you need to stay safe.

BB