My therapist has been doing this quite lately.

One example is from a year ago, I think, when I was voicing what I think was a legitimate complaint about some requests he has which he claims are about the therapeutic frame, but really it's about his needs outside of therapy coming before my needs outside of therapy (long story ...). Instead of listening to me and trying to negotiate a better solution, he claimed I was crossing his boundaries and brought up a relationship from my teens when I did actually cross that person's boundaries. It was very long ago though and my therapist had often claimed I've changed a lot since then, but in that context he brought it up as a sort of argument about my character and patterns (never mind that I only did it in one relationship back in my teens) and I left feeling very confused and doubting my own perception of reality. I left thinking that maybe my therapist was right about me, and maybe my middle school crush had been right about me, and maybe I hadn't changed. Of course, nothing about the current issue with my therapist got solved.

I think a subtle example is anything that blames misunderstandings and complaints solely on the client's transference. Like for example my therapist told me yesterday when I had a complaint about how he puts his own needs before mine in therapy, that that is my projection because he doesn't feel that way. He wanted us to analyze how this came from my relationship with my mother, which I know would be useful too, but when I said that in order to do that I needed him to own his part for what he did do (the part that was real, not my transference), he just kept going on about my transference.

Perhaps the most concerning example I have - but I don't think it's subtle - was once when, knowing I feel some things in therapy aren't working between us at the moment, he told me that because I'm also a colleague in the same community it is unethical for me to talk to others about him because I may "unwittingly paint him in a bad light" and that this would be unethical behavior of me (I told one close friend about my therapy with him and I told my supervisor without mentioning his name).

To me this looks like gaslighting. I think when a therapist gaslights a client it is particularly bad, because the whole setup is that the client came to therapy to change his or her life. So the therapist can use both very intimate material about the client and the whole reason for being in therapy (like my therapist claimed we have to "go back to me and my reactions" when I asked him to take responsibility for what he did).