I was going to write about those difficult things that have triggered me in the past but I realize that common to all of them has been the feeling of not opportunity to get out of the Depression or get ahead. It always occurs at times I feel a total sense of loss.

It has been on my mind lately though as I face a health issue which may come down to affecting my entire life. On my mind is that I am afraid of suffering and pain for maybe another 40 years.