This evening I saw my pdoc. I have been very suicidal to the point of a plan. He talked with me for some time and assessed I was not an imminent threat so instead gave me 20mg of Olanzapine and 2mg of Clonazepam to calm me down. If that doesn't work I will be given more, and if that does;t work I will be put on one on one supervision then transferred to a locked ward.

I am so scared of my mind. i can't write much now as i struggle with words but I really need some encouragement. I am in the depths of darkness and can see no way out. On the weekend I was euphoric manic. Wish I could be that way forever as it kept me safe. Now I am not safe.