Quote:
Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard
Just had a difficult conversation with my T that ended with me ending with them because I couldn't trust them anymore due to appointment times getting pushed all the time and I was feeling hurt about it.
She suggested that I come in and work on rebuilding trust or even just coming in to sit with my anger. I just couldnt do it because it didnt feel safe for me. T sounded sad about my choice to not come back. It made me think if I was making the right decision to end with them.
So I was wondering - why have you ended with your previous T's? How did they take it? Are you glad that you moved on from them?
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I left my last T for similar reasons. She didn't understand me. And/or some of what I said when I didn't have any better way to say things triggered her. That's what she said herself when we were discussing the incidents and it makes sense to me. We could not resolve it, her issues as much or more than mine I think. I had cut back to once a month. Eventually asked what she thought she could do for me for the fee which I was paying out of pocket. She suggested we try to resolve things and we had a free session but eventually she realized/suspected she was hurting me, told me she couldn't do therapy with me any more, and looked for some other therapists to refer me to.
So, it was a "mutual" termination. How did she take it? I think she was scared. Did I do that unconsciously/intentionally? Projective identification? Because I didn't trust her?
I didn't trust her because of my issues but also because she wasn't safe.
I think it's my last try at therapy. I have done it more than 50 years on and off, mostly continuously for the last 20 years.