Sorry if this doesn't fit here or if it's not a serious enough question, but I don't really know where else to turn. I like the anonymity of this place.

Anyway, my question is about a parental issue. I don't really want to get into any specific details on our earlier encounters, but my mother is an anxious, recovering alcoholic who doesn't really have a lot of close loved ones. She lives in the countryside as well, away from civilization. At the same time, I have an extremely right-wing sibling who opposes everything I am (I'm mentally ill, trans, gay, and mixed race; we have different fathers). They're a lot older than me, and not as damaged, it's easier for them to argue and talk about these kinds of things without being hurt or triggered. Now... We're getting closer to Christmas, and since my mom doesn't have a lot of people, she's expecting me to come visit her. Problem is, my sibling will as well.

Christmas hasn't been that big of an issue before. It was uncomfortable as hell, but I could deal with it. But after I came out as trans, and after the election... Well, I'm in a constant state of stress, and I've ended up in several conversations with my sibling where I ended up having panic attacks for days after. I'm not going to get into those, but as you can probably understand, they don't really see my issues as valid, and refuse to support me.
Christmas is closing in, and with these issues present, I was planning to stay at home (I live away from my mom, with my partner and our cats) and not subject myself to this issue this year as well. Last year I was alone by choice, because I was afraid of being around my sibling. Though I'm planning to stay here, I still feel really guilty about not going to visit my mom. Her views and my sibling's views don't match up either, so I feel like I should be there for her so she doesn't have to deal with it alone. At the same time, I don't want to dread Christmas and visiting her, AND having to live with my sibling for a few days as if nothing's happened.

My reason for getting into this now and asking this question is that my mom just messaged me telling me my sibling wants me to visit her with them this weekend, promising not to touch on any hurtful subjects. That's not my problem though, just being around them makes me extremely anxious. She ended this message by saying that if I don't come tthis weekend, she really wants both of us to come there for Christmas, "for her sake", and ending it with a "Hug!". This brings me back to the issue that I feel... Guilty about not wanting to visit her.

SO. My question is (sorry it took so long to get here haha), can this kind of guilt tripping be called emotional abuse? I've dealt with it when I lived with her during my teens as well, before I moved out. And if so, what do you all advise me to do or say to her?