When I started attending school my classmate caught my attention. I always noticed him the most out of all of my classmates and wanted his recognition the most. However I don't think it was a crush or that I've had feelings for him, but it was rather me seeing him as an intellectual equal and only recognizing him. I didn't see him again from when I turned 15 years old, but often heard of him. I didn't have any strong feelings about him leaving, but he always remained a somewhat more memorable person from my school-years. I didn't feel true jealously when he started dating and expressing romantic interest in other girls. I toyed with thoughts of wanting him to be interested in me slightly, but didn't have a real desire for him to pursue me or to get close to him. I don't think I have supressed romantic feelings for him or had at any point of my life, or that I am in denial of it.
However he is the only person I dreamed about having romantic or perhaps more like affectionate interactions with. Never to the point of a kiss, but often about him initiating physical contact towards me, I was never the one to initiate it ,though. In my dreams I also often notice his presence strongly when he is present among other people I know and my attention is on him in these cases. I can see those as the things I wanted from him in real life. I wanted his attention and interest, but I believe in a friendly way. What's interesting is that these kind of dreams persisted through the 6 years after I never saw him again, appearing in the time periods when I'm not concerned with some issue in my life, albeit I am quite sure I lost the interest I used to have in him. I did see him from afar a few times and had no reaction. I suspect that it may be related to the insolved self-esteem and image issues I was conscious of in school-as in the environment he was around in too.
Now I have fallen in love with a woman with whom I am separated by a great distance with. Today I dreamed that we hung out - the first time I have such a dream or a dream about her really, though I have had strong feelings for her for awhile. She was wearing dark reddish brown clothes - something she would wear. Then after awhile of roaming around, the scene changed. She was wearing a pale pink sweater (warmer than the weather would require her to and also uncharacteristic clothes for her)and brought me a basket of oranges. I took one orange from the basket, pressed it to my mouth or cheek area-it was too soft, probably rotten. I hugged her, not sure whether overwhelmed by her gesture or just waiting for the chance to do it, since I often fantasize about being able to hug her. She didn't mind it, though wasn't too into it as well.

Is there more meaning and significance to the difference in how I initiate physical contact with her in my dreams, while with the boy it's him that initiates ( and I'm unresponsive. I appreciate the warmth or human affection, but don't find it more desirable with him than anyone else)