Being heavily medicated due to SI while IP. Crying constantly about happy stuff mostly which is odd but it still upsets me. Hangover from the meds. hoping that will pass. My doctor told me last night that this will pass, he encouraged me to hang on, to not give up and let the staff at the hospital care for me. It was touching to know he cares so much. He came in at 7pm after working from 8am just to see me. I am lucky to have him.

Apparently I am delusional and a bit grandiose even though my mania has eased. I just feel so connected with the universe and god-like in a powerful way. He said that is a sign of my illness even though he is open to spiritual experiences while manic. Today I feel like I have hit the concrete at free-fall speed and all spiritual feelings are gone. I miss them as I miss the mania. Right now my mood is black, anxious, panicked and wild. I don;t know how I am going to get through today, never alone the next few minutes. Somebody help me.

Oh I know this and one of my threads update similar details, sorry for the overlap bit I find writing help and sometimes cannot stop once starting.