I'm seeing a doctor later today (it's 3am at the time of posting, so I've been up late, thanks to nasty OCD and anxiety spike ) and hopefully he'll put me right on meds (SSRI, no doubt) for my OCD and anxiety; I'm gonna shoot for something strong. I'm so damn done with this OCD and anxiety nonsense. I want to feel normal. Or at least as normal as I'm allowed to get.

I've already had CBT, almost 3 years ago now (can't believe it's been that long) but I'm still struggling. Instead, I'm struggling more with Relationship OCD, and just things like social anxiety and health anxiety, which I'd say tie into my OCD, since it's obsessive and rumination tends to be the compulsion, or seeking reassurance.

Worst of all is I feel like I'm just dragging my girlfriend down with me when I crash like this. So now it's affecting my "Harm OCD". I've already lost her once because of it; I can't let it happen again, because there's no going back from a 3rd break-up. (1st was unrelated) I'm amazed she's put up with me for over a year. She must be so fed up.

I HATE OCD.