The holidays are a lot of pressure. My anxiety goes up around Christmas, but usually severe depression or mixed mania hits me after the holidays. I believe I remember the first time I had unexplainable depression that might have been my very first episode when I was nine right before Christmas and well into January, for no apparent reason that I can think of. With seasonal depression in the mix, it doesn't help. My depressions usually lead to mixed mania by the time it's January-February. I definitely reflect on how I miss certain holiday memories and think about people close to me that passed away around this time of year.

Please hang in there. A lot of people struggle around this time of year. Take care of yourself (((HUGS)))