So I'm a 21 yr girl, and I met this other girl this semester, and we got to talking, and spending time together, as we were in the same friend group. Over time we became somewhat flirty with each other, and felt attracted to each other (I'm lesbian, she's pansexual), and then last Friday we got some really flirty stuff that happened, and then Monday we decided to give being a couple a test run, just to see if we could be compatible.

It's only been a few days, but I'm already noticing some possibly deal-breaking issues. We spent these few days largely in each other's company.

There is, well, lack of feeling of relationship. Now I don't mean I expected us to become close immediately, but rather that I don't even feel like she's trying to build one, or work with me towards building one. She doesn't even talk to me when I see her most days. When we were just friends we talked almost constantly, but she's done a 180 recently, and doesn't talk AT ALL. The only time she talks is if I force a conversation topic. But that's not conversation...its one-sided, especially since she usually keeps it brief.

Eventually I don't know what else to say, and just sit there in silence while she continues to just work on her stuff without paying any attention to her. I just get bored and sad and look at my phone the entire time...

When I tried to talk about 'what are we?' and figure out what expectations we had, and just talk about what we wanted from each other, she just kinda said 'whatever you want it to be.'

Second is there's a complete lack of affection (my main love language, and the one she said was her's as well). It feels like there's a brick wall between her and me. I have to force myself in to get any touch between us. Even when we do it feels like I'm 'forcing' her, and she really just doesn't want me there.

Overall, just emotionally, she makes me feel like I'm not welcome, or that I'm 'invading her space' by my mere presence. It just feels completely cold, and there's not even a feeling of friendliness we had before. It's like I've been completely cut off the moment we said we liked each other.

I'm not having fun, in fact most of the time I'm very bored and not really doing anything, because she's too busy with her own stuff to even pay the slightest bit of attention to me.

She's also completely emotionally unavailable. She just has the same blank facial emotion (and not a happy one) when I'm around her. What threw me off was this morning, when she saw one of her friends. She instantly brightened greatly, and became talkative, smiling and laughing throughout. It made me feel horrible, that someone could cause that reaction in her, but me, her potential SO, has to work hard even see a smirk or a chuckle. It was like she slapped me accross the face.

Overall, I could go on, but from the get-go, I feel not only unloved, but also just fundamentally unwanted and uncared for. I don't know her interests, because she hasn't even discussed them with me, and we seem to have nothing in common now that I'm in this situation.

This is my first relationship (she's had several relationships)...and first time anyone's been interested in my in general. But I feel like I've already crashed. I feel like such a failure, and I personally think that, to be honest, maybe I'm just not mature enough for, or expect too much out of, relationships. After all, just being in this relationship, if we can call it that, is stressing me out, and I'm losing sleep even writing this.

I plan on talking with her tomorrow, but I don't think it'll fix anything.

What am I supposed to do? I have no clue how relationships are supposed to be? Ugh...I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I'm so confused, and I don't know if I love her to be honest. I thought relationships were supposed to make me feel happier, but all this has done is just make me feel miserable in just a few days...