I feel my emotions are valid. Or are they part of my BPD or bipolar?

I feel so enraged. Loud noises, over stimulation... it's too much.

Some days I feel I could sleep forever. Other days I don't want to go to bed. Don't want to take my seroquel to sleep. It's garbage pills that mess me up more.

I was depressed for over a week, now I feel depressed and MAD... like get out of my way. I'm afraid to do something I regret at work or at home.

Last night I laid it out for my partner who runs a non profit and hasn't been at home many nights of the week for an upcoming event.

I feel trapped. I feel invalidated. I'm pissed off all the time and I hate it. My body is always tired.

I work in Healthcare, come home, tidy house and then stew in my pool of self hatred and hatred for society and the fact that I'm not free. I can't just go out and hang with friends without days/a week of notice from my partner. She's going away this weekend and arranged things for some child care etc but I'm ****ing stuck here working and doing nothing but raging to myself.

I want to be alone and hibernate through the winter. I'm starting to have dark thoughtside.

Vitamins, Abilify, Seroquel etc aren't working or if they are I don't know what my issue is.

I watched Eat, Pray love and wanted to shout at the TV. **** Julia Roberts and her ability to go to Europe. That isn't feasible to anyone. No one can get up and just leave like that. Stupid movie.

Ugh. And I have no prn to help wjen I get ramped up pretty sure my partner wants to leave me and not come back. I don't blame her.