Wow, I'm shocked. This is wrong of your therapist on so many levels. I don't know if you did anything to "harass" your former therapist, but even if you had, it's not okay for a former therapist to imply you have an agenda to come back, as if it were some sort of manipulation, and labeling you like this ... just wow. Also, have therapy with yourself with self-help books? That is not a professional suggestion at all. I don't think it's possible. I would not consider therapy with oneself a solution, ever. Not even after years of extensive training and supervision. The whole point of therapy is that it provides a safe space within a relationship with someone else, where you can have experiences beyond your own abilities. That your former therapist even suggested this is really unprofessional, and I can see how this is hurtful. I'm sorry you're in this situation and hope you will find more adequate help in the future.