T and I had a session this week, now I have three week break before our next one. After that it will a five week break due to T going on leave.

Things have been pretty crap for me recently. Our session this week wasn't great, I left really upset. I spoke to T yesterday and said I was worried about the break.

She started talking about whether I needed another session booked. I said I didn't want to because I've got to get used to not seeing her, as it happens a lot. Anyway, she went on about giving myself what I need rather than depriving myself.

So I took a chance and asked about adding another session. She's fully booked. Why would she push me to ask for something she can't provide. Especially knowing that I've been feeling hopeless, lonely and worthless.

Life seems hopeless at this stage.