Dear women's forum members,

I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel that I cannot cope anymore. I have had a lifetime of health problems and the latest one is non stop dysfunctional heavy uterine bleeding. I live my life checking whether the chair I've been sitting on is stained with blood, I shower and bath constantly and I am a nervous wreck. It has taken months before doctors actually took it seriously then it's taken morello this to get enough tests done to be told I needs Hysteroscopy. I read up on the procedure and am so terrified I shake and feel nauseous from it, and they say that my ultrasound and blood tests are normal and that they are concerned I have cancer. If I have cancer I don't even want to treat it, I have never lived for myself yet and I don't intend to risk the last months of my life in yet more medial centres. Basically I am now deeply regretting going to doctors to try for a cure, I thought it would be s simple fix but realise now that this is not the case and I find the procedures ahead of me terrifying. In fact I would rather die now. The trouble is the operation is booked and I need to cancel that now, and work out some way that I can get out of my current situation into one where I don't have to work 60 hour weeks and can just be left alone and in peace. I can't really see a way out anymore. I have had terrible traumas in the past, a serious car accident and major caring roles and I feel that I never get to have a happy life or feel at peace or health and I would rather just give up now. I don't understand that women's bodies can be so dysfunctional that you just bleed and bleed month in month out. I am on 6 progesterone tablets daily and it still bleeds. My boyfriend will be furious when the finds out I'm cancelling the operation and I'm trying to work out a way around it at the moment. I'm just beside myself, I just can't face anymore operations or disgusting blood or invasive horrifying procedures. Can anyone help me why advice.