I feel so bad for you. Things like this are, I think, particularly difficult when you are young.

If this is the road he wants to take, though, perhaps he needs to take it alone? Maybe you two will find each other again in the future when he's done with this journey.

Perhaps it's a break up, but perhaps it's just a break. Either way, it's painful and there is grief, but I assure you that it will get better.

Hugs. Keep writing. Lots of us here to lend an ear and a shoulder...